Case No. NP20D02617

: There were a number of specific incidents on which W relied, both for what happened by way of incident, but also as examples of H’s temper and lack of control:i)In December 2012 the parties had an argument relating to the very recent death of H’s mother. W was in bed under the bedclothes and H was sitting on the bed undressing when in frustration (as he says) he brought his hand down on the bed from on high, holding the shoe or shoes which he had just taken off. In doing so he hit W’s leg which was under the covers. It was a forceful blow. W did not seek any medical advice but reported it to the priest and a Women’s Centre recorded bruising. She has described it as inadvertent and I do not think that H intended to hit her, but he was plainly reckless in what he did. It was this event that led both parties to question the forthcoming marriage;ii)In March 2013 in the course of another argument, W threw a cup onto the floor in exasperation, whereupon H took hold of some books and threw them in the air. One of them hit W on the head leaving an abrasion and bruise and at hospital she was also diagnosed with concussion. W agrees that the books were not thrown at her but once again, I find that H was reckless. I agree with W that on each occasion he showed a temper which should have been controlled;iii)In March 2017 W says that she ruffled H’s hair as she was walking past him, and that he then grabbed her arm and twisted it. There were others present whom she would have expected to have intervened if they had seen it. There is scope for the twisting being accidental as she was walking past as he took hold of her arm. H has no recollection of the incident. No injury was sustained. I accept that it happened, but I do not find that it was a cause of any deliberate or reckless injury; andiv)On 25 March 2018 there was a further argument which resulted in H grabbing the duvet from the bed and marching off downstairs to sleep on the sofa leaving W naked on the bed.32.The clear impression that I have is that this was a relationship that at times was tempestuous and that H would on occasions lose his temper. W says that they had major arguments about once a month. I do not accept that W was in fear of physical harm. There was no reason for her to be and she expressly told the police that she did not have such a fear. I do accept that the arguments and H’s temper during them caused her distress.33.With hindsight it is not difficult to see how these arguments came about because the parties are of very different character. H has the louder voice and speaks at length. He loves conversation and vigorous debate. W on the other hand is quieter, she retreats from confrontation, and bottles things up. She does not enjoy verbal jousting but dealt with her complaints of H in long accusatory emails. Each was capable of intensely frustrating the other.34.W said that her complaint about H’s behaviour was more of what she describes as his emotional treatment of her than his physical treatment of her or any perceived risk of violence. I accept that this was her perception. 35.