Case No. EWFC-85

79.This is an allegation that the father had ‘unhealthy sexual fantasies and encouraged the mother to commit an act of infidelity’. 80. Both parents agree they engaged in sexual role play and fantasies. These were consensual acts between two adults. The mother’s extra-marital liaison in London in 2018 was also an act/s between consenting adults. The father was not in London and was not involved in commissioning or arranging the affair. Messages exchanged between the parties in June 2018 and exhibited to the mother’s statement show the father apparently encouraging her to liaise with other men (p 174, 179 and p181). The messages at pp 184-187, also sent in June 2018 appear to show that the parents were not in fact ‘on the same page’ about what was going on. 81. I have already found, at paragraph 53 above, that I cannot unravel the events of the marital sexual role play to determine whether the father’s fantasies were ‘unhealthy’ or not. I decline to categorise the mother’s choice to engage in a consensual sexual liaison in London, after some encouragement from the father, as domestic abuse. The evidence does not support a conclusion that the messages were designed to make the mother subordinate or used to harm, punish or frighten her. It is unnecessary and disproportionate for detailed findings of fact to be made about these complaints and I do not consider them relevant to a risk assessment and decision-making for the children going forwards.